my thoughts...

have you ever sometimes felt how your life just fast forwards infront of your eyes, stopping only for an instant for those few significant moments in your life? At the end of the day, you felt so spent and wonder where have the days gone by. I came to this realization during the days when I was counting and wasting hours, minutes and seconds of my precious life doing nothing. Yes, I did waste my time in cyberspace. Have I made a huge difference in my life? In someone else's life? Well, could be.. maybe... I was helping girls via this female dominated forum giving love advices, financial advises and what-have-yous.. I just hope that I somehow made an impact in their lives. Another thing as well is how my husband really appreciates me for being.. domesticated.. Yeah, I wanted to be a good housewife even when sometimes our household doesn't like me that much. I made sure there's food in the table when the man of the house comes home. I made sure that every comfort is available to soothe his tired mind and body. I did try being a good daughter and sister as well as much as I can. But.. somehow.. I'm not satisfied.. I want something BIG!!! But then again... am I not making a BIG impact on the people I love? Our families.. my husband? Sometimes, I tend to oversee the answers that have always been there. Simple things, though, it may not be that huge compared with what others achieved but if I look at the other side of the coin, I maybe more than enough to those close to me.. to the people I love.

"I maybe insignificant to many.. but I can mean the WORLD to others too.."

True? I hope so...

on growing up...

I sometimes do reminisce the times when I was still a kid.  I just play around all day with my brothers and cousins playing Langit/Lupa and Monkey Monkey.  At the end of the day, we go home and have mud all over our bathroom whenever my mom asks us.. NO!.. order us to wash up before dinner time.  Dinner time consists always of fighting with my brothers over who should get the biggest pork slice from my mom's ever delicious sinigang na baboy with fish sauce and chili as condiments.  Later on, Dad, would try to sneak outside to scare the life out of our living day lights by pretending to be a ghost outside the window.  =)  Also, I always do fight with my brothers the harshest way possible but I still dearly love them.  Well, it's just a part of growing up.

I really, really miss those times.  I don't know...  I miss being young... I miss my family...  Not that I am not happy with hubby right now... but, probably, it's just something that I totally cherish and miss.  Life was simple back then. Those were really the moments when I was truly happy.  But as they say, the only constant thing in this world is change.  Time changes everything.  Youth passes and beauty fades.  Your grow up, get married and start a family of your own.  The cycle of life continues.  You create new colorful memories but the old beautiful memories never, ever fades away.  It will be forever in your heart.

You know what they say when you are about to die?  Well, they say that in the last few moments of your life here on earth, a series of significant memories will begin flashing right in front of your eyes.  Just like an old movie.  I know when that time comes, I will smile and say to myself... it was a life well spent... that will do.

updates

How come everytime I write here, it's either I'm depressed, sad, or bored?  Haha.  That's the reason why blogs are made.  It's where you write your innermost thoughts.  Anyway, enough about it.

Things have been pretty much the same lately.  Except that hubby and I started focusing on riding our bikes!  We even had our first taste of trail biking at Nuvali, Sta Rosa last Sunday where we participated in the Men's Health All Terrain 20km bike race.  It  was fun, fun, fun! =)  As first times and as riders who didn't practice at all, I think we did pretty well. We were able to finish the race although I think we belonged at the bottom list. =P  I got a few bruises  on my legs after falling twice.  I call them... battle bruises =).  We will be joining races pretty soon but we need to have hubby's bike repaired first.  Also, we might try the trails in McKinley hills soon. =)

By the way, did I mention we have malayan box and red ear turtles as pets?  Oh!  And a ball phyton too!  =P  I was really against having a snake for a pet!!! I know you dearies will agree to that.  The first two days we had 'snakey', he was able to get out of his cage!  Twice!!! Imagine the horror when I found out that 'snakey' was on the loose inside our house.  Usually, I'm the first to get up in the morning so I check on 'snakey' if he's still there in the cage.  Anyway, I was walking in our living room and kitchen with a snake on the loose!  Luckily, hubby was able to find him before I get panic attacks.  For now, I'm adjusted to having a snake INSIDE the house.  But, I rarely touch him =P .  Maybe, only on occasions when I get drunk or brave or both =).

As mentioned previously, I am still a stay-at-home wifey.  Hubby and I talked about me getting a job while waiting for our little one to come.  It took a lot of convincing before he finally agreed BUT provided that the next job will only be around the vicinity.  Talk about small opportunities.. ugh!  My line of work is in the manufacturing industry and you can rarely see a mfg company in the city.  Sometimes, you need to go to nearby provinces just to get a job.  But still, I'm hoping.  I hope to find a job to keep me busy and to finance our hobbies!! =)  There's nothing like earning your own money, right? 

Time to end my post.  House chores are calling.. TTYL! =)

back to regular programming...

I'm back!!! After sooo many days of no update, I'm back!   I have been busy with my last few days at Big Blue trying to close some things with a project I was handling.  Plus, to add, typhoons coming into the Philippines kept me, I mean 'us', busy with all the cleaning, etc.

Hopefully, you'll see more updates from me moving forward...  Watch out for it! =)

kung anu-ano na lang

I was in the midst of writing a management report out for a project when I bailed out =P ! Jeeeezzzz! I'm not saying that I'll not be finishing it; I will get back to it later today. It's one of those days that I feel utterly B-O-R-E-D! :P No amount of reading or writing or watching will kill this boredom.... I just feel....... bored! Haayyy.. =(

Thinking of those things I needed to do makes me lazy. Does that make sense? I have scrapbooks to finish, books and magazines to read, travels to blog (not to brag but to document), movies to watch, and so on and on and on.. =).

Bear with me friends, it's probably just one of those days. I'll get better tomorrow. Promise! =)

Oh btw, my whole week WFH (Work From Home) has already started this week. My good friend, Judith, have already started her Vacation Leaves until our last day of office on Oct 2. Sniff! =( No point now going to the office ALONE. It'll just make me sad to see empty cubicles around me =( .

seriously....

What is it with people and crab mentality? I just don't get it why most people's favorite past time is to pull people down with all the gossips. In the place where I live, well, previously lived, people can't live WITHOUT gossiping. It's as if other people's lives are their daily dose of telenovelas. I wonder what they get from that?? tsk, tsk. I actually pity them coz they have nothing productive to do. It's useless having an intelligent conversation with them. I just wish they realize how gossips can ruin sensitive people's lives. As for me, as what Michael Jackson said, "I have rhinoceros skin."

mixed emotions

As the countdown for my hubby's arrival begins, i can feel both excitement and anxiety. I miss my hubby soooo much. It has been almost 3 months since we last saw each other. Yes, we do have our daily webcam chats but feeling his physical presence is way, waaaaay different =( .

He's going to be here in November and will stay for only 3 weeks. After that, he's back to his overseas assignment. Sigh... Not that I'm complaining. His overseas assignment opened up a lot of opportunities for us. For him, a chance to hone his professional skills and for us, well, a chance to save, financially. It got a lot of perks too. Even though he's on overseas assignment for 2 yrs, he has a chance to go home here every 6 months. Come to think of it? I can come with him but we both understand that the place he's at now is not really that "female" friendly.

By October, I'm going to be separated from Big Blue. Hubby and I agreed that I'll rest for awhile after my stint at Big Blue. It's actually a perfect chance for us to focus in 'making' a family. Now! THAT is why I'm feeling anxious and pressured at the same time. November is actually pretty close and I'm NERVOUS. I don't know why but I feel pressured =(. What if our wishes doesn't happen yet? Now what? Wait for another 6 months? Boredom is gonna kill me; well, actually, my wallet will get a bad beating (read previous posts). Kidding aside, I really, really feel the pressure creeping in...

Lights Out at the Big Blue

Things have been happening pretty fast at the Big Blue. We just had our Lights Out Celebration last Friday. Of course, I shed tears seeing the last video showing up in the screen. Well, come to think of it, Friday was the day of the many lasts.. Did i make sense? =) Hmm.. it was the last group celebration I have attended for the company I worked for for 6+ years... last day I went home late from the office.. last night I saw our company logo brightly lit against the darkness of the night.. last time I was in the rec hall... so, many last times! =( I am positive though that it's not going to be the last time I will be seeing my friends from the Big Blue =) .

I admit though that I still feel sadness even though the closure announcement has been done almost 1 and a half years ago. That long?? Yah, we knew before then that we will be separated from Big Blue. It was really a blessing that we lasted this long. Again, we're still lucky =).

random things about me..

1. I love reading... =) to-date, i have 2 magazine subscriptions, Reader's Digest and National Geographic. I have tons of books both at my parent's house and our house. Books ranges from children's books to Oprah's Book Club to NY Times' Bestseller books.

2. I can stay in front of the computer from morning 'till night.

3. I am extremely afraid of the open water. I do get panic attacks if I don't see the sea/ocean bottom.

4. I like collecting perfumes, soaps and body wash.

5. 3 things I collect when I travel: keychain, postcard, t-shirts

6. I love photography. =)

7. I am starting to build up my DVD collection of classic movies.

8. I am a big fan of wooden furniture products.

9. Websites i visit when I come online: time.com, cnn.com, femalenetwork.com, rdasia.com.ph, inquirer.net, nationalgeographic.com

10. I was on the honor (first/star) section from Grade 1 'till 4th year high school.

11. I studied in an all-female exclusive school from Kindergarten to High School. During College, I studied in a male-dominated engineering school.

12. I love dogs! =)

13. I am the only daughter in my family and my husband is the only son in his family. We're both the eldest among siblings. =)

14. I like watching Japanese Anime. I would rather watch it with English subtitles. Somehow, it loses originality when I watch an english-dubbed anime series.

15. I easily get bored. To kill boredom, I shop. =)

#$*&^$#(&*%!!!!!

SOMEONE is stealing from ME!!!! And I AM fuming mad about it!!! Grrr!!!

I checked online my credit card transactions this morning and LO and BEHOLD! A transaction from CEBU PACIFIC PASIG amounting to 1,163.00 pesos has been charged into my account! It happened last July 10. How could that be when I was working in Cavite during that time AND BESIDES, where will i be going?!!! #*$&)!

I already called BPI about it and am gonna file my dispute letter tomorrow! SOMEONE IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF! The amount is not huge BUT STILL, knowing that someone is stealing from your hard earned money is NO JOKE!

I WANT JUSTICEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sniff! Sniff! =(

just checking in...

hello guys!!! it's been almost a month since i posted.. i've got a lot of updates sana pero things began picking up with our project last month kaya here I am.. I AM busy.. as in B-U-S-Y!!!

i'll check back again later on. Our 3x/wk work from home was allowed kaya I'll hopefully have more personal time now.

Take care you guys! God bless! :)

sadness...

i put myself to sleep last night silently crying.. I don't know why but the thought of learning last night my friend's baby's gender made me slightly jealous. Her baby is only 1 month older than our 2nd baby. My brother's baby too is 2 wks older than ours but again, it made me secretly jealous when he told me that the baby is most likely to be a girl. Seriously..... I am happy for them... but at the same time, my heart is filled with sadness, loneliness and yearning for the baby we lost 2 mos ago. Is this normal? I just hope so..

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Yesterday was Mother's Day, while we were celebrating with both families, we passed by SM dept store and bought some toiletries. While paying, the lady in the cashier booth greeted me with a smile a "Happy Mother's Day" after giving me my change. I just gave her a tight smile, but, in reality, i wanted to give her a "bonk" in the head. Not all married women are mothers.

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During lunch time yesterday, my 7 year old sis-in-law innocently asked me if I am a mother. After thinking for awhile, i finally said "NO" and explained to her what a mother is.

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Since hubby arrived 2 Thurs ago, people have been giving me unsolicited advices to give it a try (having a baby) again. Not easy... For starters, my health, not yet normal. I still have blood tests to complete.

We're not emotionally ready threading the pregnancy waters again. At least, not yet...

i want to...

i want to...

...play the piano.
...play the violin.
...be a college professor.
...go shopping till midnight!
...lose more weight! 20 lbs to go! Yihaa!
...baby-yo to come home soon.
...have a mala-diva singing voice!
...learn how to swim.
...do a shopping spree on local airline promotions :) .
...eat double dutch ice cream.
...have my dad here in the Phils.
...learn how to earn online.
...learn professional photography.
...go to Peru to see the Machu Pichu ruins.
...have a resort in Palawan.
...go and visit Batanes.
...travel the Philippines.
...see Jerusalem.
...try scuba diving to conquer my fear in the open water.
...have WORLD PEACE.
...see my grandpa and my 2 angels.
...do a roadtrip up north.
...have my own business.
...be confident.



so, what do YOU want?

random thoughts...

ah! Sunday... i love Sundays.. =) it's really a perfect day when your family can do bonding activities, you eat what you want and basically, just enjoy the day however you want it be. Me?? i just laze around the house and do nothing. I usually use Sunday to de-stress and prepare for the upcoming workweek. Speaking of work, well... I am scheduled to go back to work tomorrow. I haven't told my boss and colleagues yet; it's a self-imposed back to work schedule i've given myself. I have been away for almost 2 months now. i am kinda curious on the going-ons now with all the changes/announcements that happened in the past 2 months. Oh well! am pretty sure my first week back to work will be full of chika. =) I can't wait! hehehe!

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i'm really glad our two dogs (mini pinschers) are ok now. they somehow contracted a skin disease but with the help of our vet, they seem to be back to their old selves. =) Now, they are so makulit, matakaw and full of energy. =) oh! how much i love those dogs!

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man oh man! i was sitting outside in our terrace watching our 2 dogs sleeping, enjoying the cool afternoon breeze and the wifi =) when it suddenly rained!! The ONE up there must have given us comfort now that summer is almost here. =)

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i've been thinking about things i have been putting off for the past months! Vacation photos that needs printing, my bookshelf project, wedding anniversary photos for re-albuming and a whole lot of other things! gosh! i even got a stash of unread books that needs some sorting. =) ugh! i promise, i'll do everything.... well, at least before the year ends. =)

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15 days more to go and we'll be celebrating our 3rd year anniversary!!! yey!! but sadly, hubby is not going to be around.. =( **sniff sniff** i miss him so much.. =( even then, I'll be celebrating the day together with our families with some good food and of course, a lot of love! =)

signs of the times

I just read a forwarded mail from hubby regarding the financial crisis impacting Dubai. In fact, my father even told me months ago that indeed, more and more engineers and professionals are losing their jobs coz of companies closing down. Mind you, these are just not ordinary local companies but even international companies are closing down affecting more globally diverse people. Probably, a bulk would be coming from Pinas since essentially, we comprise a big percentage of the middle east workforce. It's just sad that this is happening... Hubby even told me that he heard from the news that what has been happening are signs of 'Depression'. Well, am not familiar with THE Great Depression that happened eons ago. I think I better catch up on my history readings. =)

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I've seen the impact of the global financial crisis first-hand. I, myself, will be part of the 'unemployed' in a few months time. But, come to think of it, it's actually a blessing in disguise. I will get to focus on TTC (Trying To Conceive) sooner than I thought. =)