it's been a while..

yes, it's been ages since I last updated this blog.  I have sooo much to tell but don't know where to start.  But, to tell you, I am really bothered and sad at the moment again.  I will not give the details as people following this blog will probably skip reading it or probably, proceed to delete my link in their respective blogs.. Hehehe.  But then again, this is my blog, this is my personal space.

Maybe in time, I'll begin to share some of it.  I believe there are issues, personal issues that should not be shared in the world wide web.  I hope you understand.  I still want some privacy for a little bit.  Anyway, this I tell you, life really throws issues after issues at you and that no matter how much you avoid it, it will really land smack on your face... and your heart...  But then again, on a positive note, this is just one-of-those days.  I will emerge from this situation, hopefully, unscathed and with a stronger FAITH in HIM.  It is in HIM we will find all the answers.

i lost the fire..

It's Christmas.. everyone's favorite time of the year.  I am dreading Christmas this year.  I actually just want to sleep through it and hoping that when I wake up, it's already January... or March... or April.  I have this really strong urge to skip Christmas parties.

Am I depressed?  Maybe.  Will I get over this?  Not sure.. but I'm telling you, whatever it is, it's not going to be over soon.


Forgive me friends for being so depressing and sad with my blog posts.  This blog is the only outlet I have for now to vent my feelings.  So, bear with me.

it's not yet time...

I want to cry out all the frustration I am feeling right now.  What could have gone wrong?  We followed orders and did everything we need to do but still... 

How am I going to go through Christmas with you shying away from me and Daddy? I'm all alone.  Daddy is away for 6 mos which makes me super sad right now.

I guess it's STILL not the right time baby.  I'll see you soon, hopefully. 

Fitness Update Part 2

As mentioned before, am gonna make a fitness update to keep my mind on the goal. Previous update here:  Here's the new one...

Starting Weight: 140 lbs
Current Weight: 112 lbs
***Yah, 7 more lbs to go!! =)

Starting BMI: 27.3 (Overweight)
Current BMI: 21.9 (Normal)
*** Lowest in years!!!  =)


My OB still wanted me to go to my ideal weight which is 105lbs!  This is going to be extra hard!  They say the last few pounds you want to lose is going to be a battle!  Oh btw, hubby is coming home.. I hope my weight doesn't go up with all the food we are going to eat by then O_O.

it's just a dream

I woke up crying this morning 'coz of the dream (or nightmare) I had.  I dreamt about hubby hooking up with someone else.  It kept playing over and over again on my dream just like a broken record until I finally woke up crying.  I am glad that reality sank in after a few minutes but it still bothered me.


The other day, I dreamt of a 'Zuma-like' setting with a cat and a snake.  The cat was trying to kill the snake and I pushed the cat on to the cliff to save the snake.  I woke up screaming with my heart beating furiously 'coz in my dream, the cat clung on to my arm!  It was scary!  I really felt the cat scratching my arms, it hurt so bad.


Dreams can sometimes mess up your thinking.  The worst dream I had was when I was pregnant.  I can still remember it vividly.  There was a head of a live dog and it kept on bouncing and bouncing excitedly on the floor.  Again, I woke up crying.  Who would not cry when you are pregnant and kept on dreaming about weird things? Well, found out that this really happens to pregnant women.  The weird dreams stopped when I had the miscarriage.  Blame it on the raging hormones of a pregnant woman!  


Now, I am taking some hormonal meds as part of my fertility work up.  I hope this doesn't bring in weird dreams again even with the 2 dreams I mentioned earlier (a sure sign it's coming back again!).  But if I am given assurance that everything will be OK after taking these meds, then, I wouldn't mind having those weird dreams (or nightmares)... as long as they remain dreams only.

Rescue Run, SM MOA - Oct 2009

I participated in the Rescue Run last Saturday.  I had fun shedding some pounds and meeting new friends, not to mention, helping the typhoon victims too!  Here's more info about the rescue run:  http://run4change.com/rescuerun

For now, let the pictures do the talking! =)

something is wrong with blogger.. hmmm

we're getting serious

I had my OB check up again with Dra. Manalo last Monday.  She got to see my tests results again and finally confirmed that I have elevated androgen (male hormones) in my body.  Am I turning into a guy, eh?  hehehe! Anyway, these androgen hormones are resulting to not-so-good quality eggs from me; hence, the miscarriages.  She told me that the problem is not on me but on our babies that's why the pregnancies are not continuing.    

She gave me an oral steroid to take for 15 days to lower down my androgen hormones plus some fertility pills.  Being the curious-me, I immediately researched on the steriod medicine that I will be taking.  The condition I have is, nonclassic congenital adrenal hyperplasia.  You can know more about it here:  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/congenital-adrenal-hyperplasia/DS00915.

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On another note,  I am sharpening my cooking skills with my extra time =).  I plan to impress hubby when he comes back for a vacation! Haha!  =)  Wish me luck!

back to regular programming...

I'm back!!! After sooo many days of no update, I'm back!   I have been busy with my last few days at Big Blue trying to close some things with a project I was handling.  Plus, to add, typhoons coming into the Philippines kept me, I mean 'us', busy with all the cleaning, etc.

Hopefully, you'll see more updates from me moving forward...  Watch out for it! =)

random things...

The other day,  I found out my brother has scoliosis.  I almost cried!  It looks bad for me since I can see his upper body leaning towards the right.  Yeah, it's that noticeable!  =( .  I remember teasing him about his back pain coz he only started complaining when he was completing his OJT with his 8am-5pm desk job at DHL.  Mom and I will accompany him to the doctor tomorrow.  I hope and pray it'll be classified only as mild scoliosis. 

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Yesterday,  I was able to attend a free seminar hosted by citiseconline.  It's about investing in the stock market.  You know what?   It was really very good!  =)  I really appreciated the seminar.  My only knowledge about stock trading was based on my experiences from the BIG BLUE so attending that seminar was a welcome treat for my malnourished brain =P . 

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After the citiseconline seminar, one of my friends from the BIG BLUE treated us all out for dinner at Dad's!  I was so full! =)  But it was really fun catching up with all of my BIG BLUE friends.  I actually miss them =( .  I hope we do this more often.

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Book fair.  Started 2 days ago.  Excited!!!!  =)

Happy Anniversary =) !

running in the rain for the Crocs prepair fun run...

Sunday.  

I woke up at around 3:30am, one hour earlier than my alarm clock, to the heavy sound of rain.   I desperately tried to go back to sleep but to no avail, my mind was wandering to my upcoming race, my first ever race, =).  After several toss and turns on my bed, my alarm clock suddenly went off... it's TIME TO RUN!!! =)

My brother and I arrived at SM MOA 30 mins late from the 5 AM assy time but it's still ok!  The 3KM runners were scheduled to run by 6AM anyway.  I basked in at the sight I am looking at... runners everywhere doing stretching exercises and warm-up jogging!  Oooohh!! It made me mightily excited!

Gun start for both 5KM and 10KM went off at the same time.  Ten mins after, the 3KM runners took off and by that time, heavy rain was pouring down.  Rain or shine,  here we gooo!!!  Running, in my case, jogging in the rain was a very, very different experience.  I actually loved it =) !  There's nothing like having your body cool down by the rain.  However, the head wind was really strong around 1KM away from the finish line.  Nevertheless, I didn't feel the same exhaustion I had when me and my buddy, Marge, ran the same route weeks ago.  It must be the...  rain!  =)  Oh btw, lesson I learned, always, ALWAYS check that your shoelaces are tightly fastened prior a race.  Don't ask me why I reminded you that! =P

I finished my first 3KM race with a respectable (I hope) time of around 20-25 mins.  I also got a cool finisher's shirt =) !  Do consider that I didn't perform any training at all, well, except during my 2x/week workout days in the gym.  I really didn't get a chance to train outside 'coz of the heavy rains these past few days.

And, before I forget, how do you guys dry a verrry soaked rubber shoes???!

yeeehaawww!!

ready or not.. here I go!

Tomorrow IS....... GOING....... TO..... BE...... A..... BIG DAY!  It's the day of my first ever marathon!!  =) .  The weather though is gonna be a challenge.  It has been a stormy week all week and if this kind of weather continuous till tomorrow, then, I'm in for a big CHALLENGE!  They say they only cancel marathons when there is a public storm signal no. 2.  So, marathon will continue, rain or rain =) .  

Wish me luck guys!

on puppy love

Yesterday, as I was driving on our way to the mall, mom and I saw 2 dogs (1 white and 1 brown) on the street.  The white one was lying down while the brown dog was just standing nearby.  When I saw the dogs, I immediately exclaimed "Oh no, anong nangyare? (Oh no, what happened?)".  I don't know whether the white dog was run over by a vehicle or have some sort of illness but you know, he was just there, lying down on the street while the brown dog has no plans in leaving.  It looks like he was even watching over the white one.  So, I went ahead, got some money out of the ATM machine a few meters away, all the while thinking about what I saw.  When I got in the car, I glanced at the rear view mirror and I still saw them!  You might be asking why I didn't stop by to help??  I can't coz as much as I love dogs, I don't usually get close to potential stray dogs for my own safety.  It's better to have professionals handling that.  Though, I still feel realllyyy bad leaving them like that =(.


I remember an email that was forwarded before about a similar situation wherein a dog took guard by never leaving the side of the dog that was run over by a vehicle.  I think the photos where from China.  Going back, I am soooo amazed and sooo touched with the dedication that I saw from the brown dog.   You can never, EVER underestimate what LOVE can do.  LOVE works wonders and it makes the world go round =) !

 

Photo courtesy of:  http:.//www.best-dog-photos.com/images/Puppy-Love.jpg

On another note, I wonder who the owners of those dogs.  I believe in responsible ownership and getting one means you have SOLE responsibility to take care of them, feed them, play with them and love them.  If you can't do any of those, then, give your pet up for adoption. And in the first place, you should never consider getting a pet if you know you can't do any of those.  Also, we have PAWS here in the Philippines to help us.  At the end of it all, we should remember that our pets consider us as their humans.  They give UNCONDITIONAL LOVE to us, we are, after all, their ONLY human.

on packages, scrapbooks and dogs =)

Just the other day, I asked my brother to pick up 2 packages for me from the local post office.  Look what I have here!  =)

I just got my long-awaited package from Artscow and National Geographic!  So excited to have these items after waiting for 3 long months!    The keychain, I already attached to my car keys while the NG fleece jacket needs to wait for the owner arriving in ~2 mos =) (yes, dear hubby, it's for you!).

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In the past few days, I rekindled my love affair with traditional scrapbooking.  It all started when i horded a couple of scrapbooking items from National Bookstore due to the SALE!  Here are all the items I bought.  Take note, these are just what I bought for the past 2 days.   I haven't really photographed all of my scrapbooking items yet =).

 ahem!  some of my works! =)

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 During Mom's birthday, I had a field day taking pictures of our dogs.  Erm, rather, my mom forced me to. hehehe!  She told me she wanted to make a picture album of our dogs =).  Well, that's what you expect from a frustrated-waiting-to-be-one-grandma! =)

Photohunt: Orange

Taken outside our house.  Please excuse me for the electric lines showing up in the photo.  I can't do anything about it.

King, our very sweet and loyal dog =).

Happy Birthday Mom!

To the best mother in the whole world.. Happy, happy birthday!!!

Thursday Thunks #1

1.  Your thoughts on truck drivers?  -->  kings of the road

2. Did you hear Michelle Duggar is pregnant for the 15th time?  --> Lucky her... so fertile, huh?! =)

3. Have you ever done something to hurt someone intentionally... just for the sole purpose of hurting them because you thought they deserved it?  --> Yes, not good.

4. Is there anyone in your life that when you go to their place of residence, you just walk in without bother knocking? Does anyone just walk into your house without knocking?  --> Yes, at my parents' place.

5. Whats in the trunk of your car? Do you even have a clue?  ---> featherduster, extra slippers

6. When you go to a family holiday get together (such as Christmas or Thanksgiving), about how many people are there?  -->  not less than 20 people

7. What is in your kitchen sink right at this very moment?  --> coffee mugs from this morning's breakfast =)

8. You go to a store to buy an expensive item... say $150. You pick up that item and a couple other this n' thats. You get to the register and the expensive item rings up at $40. The cashier doesn't seem to notice and tells you your total. Do you go with what they say and pay it or do you question the price difference? --> Definitely, since you picked it up at $150, it means, you have the money to pay for it.  My conscience wouldn't be able to stand it if I shut up.

9. Do you fold your underwear or do you just toss it in a drawer?  --> Fold it.

10. There is a Harley-Davidson giveaway. Chances are $100 and they are only selling 250 tickets. Do you buy one?  --> No.

11. Who is your favorite Disney character?  --> Marvin the Martian and Bugs Bunny

12. It's September - most of the weekly sitcoms/dramas are starting new seasons again. Which one are you most looking forward to?  --> American or Filipino tv series?  =)

13. You are at a grocery store and are on your way out to your car with your cart full of grocery bags. On your way to your car you see a black kitten in an empty cart. What do you do?  --> Call out to the kitten, then, after awhile, ignore it =(.  I'm bad!!  =(  I prefer puppies.  However, I do feed stray cats around our backyard... Ok, ok, enuf with the explanation =(.

14. Is there anything that you do for a hobby that you are asked to do for friends/family that most people would hire a professional to do? (example: cake decorating, fixing cars....)  --> Yes, cross stitching and movie editing.

15. Are we there yet?  --> Not yet. =)

Finally!!!

my first race.. =)  I finally had the guts to register to one last night.  Since this is going to be my first, I grabbed the slot for 3K.  My goal is to simply finish this race =).

Now, on to training; erm..... hmm, how's that done??  nyahahaha!  =)